Something that I am losing

It

I wanted to be a person who lived with 'it'.

Not misled by the mist of the future,

Not bound by the rope of past,

I desired to be a person whose mind belonged to it.

 

I wanted to be a person who enjoyed its presence.

Not overwhelmed by waves it would bring about,

Not hesitating to reach for a hug it gave,

I craved to be a person who took it with a great joy, a delight.

 

I wanted to be a person who believed in the promise it leaked.

Not longing for the rainbow hung up in the future,

Not looking back to see foot prints in the past,

I hoped to be its devoted friend.

I am losing something.

Exams are over.

People to meet.

Books to read.

Places to go to.

Plans to add.

Things I really wanted to do. Ones that I would willingly pour my passion into.

When was it that I last made a promise to myself that I would be different?

That I would change in the 'near future'? To start new thing? To 'enjoy the moment?

After I am done with this assignment. After this week. After the exams are over.

Until then, I would put aside the things that really mattered to me.

Not working, apparently. 

Stuck with the same promises never kept, the same cycle dragging me. 

Still agitating as time passes without bringing any changes.

I wanted to be person who was lived in the present.